"I am so grateful for our opportunity to listen to conference! This has been one of the most spiritual conferences I have ever had. I cried all the way through Elder Ballard's talk. The emphasis he put on following through with commitments and coming together with the members made me very happy and stressed at the same time. I realized the weight on my calling just a little more, as I am supposed to not only strengthen my investigators, but I am responsible to help the members keep their commitments as well. It made me happy because I know an apostle of Christ followed up on how well the members are supposed to be support our missionary efforts. It makes me happy that the members and I will be talking about PMG more :) More dinner conversations ;) lol
I learned another very valuable lesson just after one of the sessions. Previous to Sister Seaman leaving, we had a day full of plans and all of them fell through. For most of the day we were finding. Eight thirty at night came around, and I was pretty much done. Sister Seaman encouraged me and we kept knocking doors. For the first time that day, a man named Michael answered the door and invited us to sit down. We had one of the most fulfilling and edifying conversations about knowing and recognizing Christ and being able to be like him. He was excited to learn and wanted to come to general conference. Sunday came, and we text him that morning, and he was just as excited as the day we had met him. Thirty minutes before the session started he text and told us he had read from the Book of Mormon and decided it was not what he believed in. I frantically tried to ask if he would allow us to address his concerns and answer his questions. He declined. I was heart broken. I fought to hold back tears. I felt so close to him even though I had only spent an hour with the man. I felt cheated and discouraged because I had worked so hard to find him. As I tried to compose myself in front of the members and the Elders, I remembered the talk given by Elder Uchdorf on gratitude in our trials, regardless of circumstance. I said a prayer in my heart of gratitude for Heavenly Father giving me a chance to teach and testify when I was at my ropes end. I thanked him for being able to feel the love of the Savior for Michael, and overwhelming peace entered my soul. I still felt awful that Michael didn't want to learn and that I couldn't do anything to change it, but I felt like Heavenly Father still loved me. I have learned that gratitude for the trials we face is submitting our will to his. I am grateful I am a missionary, and face the trials I do. I am sooooo grateful we have prophets on the Earth.
Brother Masteller and I had a wonderful conversation before I had my melt down. I was very emotional, and told me a lot about his feelings. I am grateful that he trusts me, and that God gave me this area. I feel inadequacy every day of my life, and even more weak as I try and help these people, but I know that I will learned how to rely on God more than man if I keep trying. "