"I
am so grateful for our opportunity to listen to conference! This has been one of
the most spiritual conferences I have ever had. I cried all the way through
Elder Ballard's talk. The emphasis he put on following through with commitments
and coming together with the members made me very happy and stressed at the same
time. I realized the weight on my calling just a little more, as I am supposed
to not only strengthen my investigators, but I am responsible to help the
members keep their commitments as well. It made me happy because I know an
apostle of Christ followed up on how well the members are supposed to be support
our missionary efforts. It makes me happy that the members and I will be talking
about PMG more :) More dinner conversations ;) lol
I
learned another very valuable lesson just after one of the sessions. Previous to
Sister Seaman leaving, we had a day full of plans and all of them fell through.
For most of the day we were finding. Eight thirty at night came around, and I
was pretty much done. Sister Seaman encouraged me and we kept knocking doors.
For the first time that day, a man named Michael answered the door and invited
us to sit down. We had one of the most fulfilling and edifying conversations
about knowing and recognizing Christ and being able to be like him. He was
excited to learn and wanted to come to general conference. Sunday came, and we
text him that morning, and he was just as excited as the day we had met him.
Thirty minutes before the session started he text and told us he had read from
the Book of Mormon and decided it was not what he believed in. I frantically
tried to ask if he would allow us to address his concerns and answer his
questions. He declined. I was heart broken. I fought to hold back tears. I felt
so close to him even though I had only spent an hour with the man. I felt
cheated and discouraged because I had worked so hard to find him. As I tried to
compose myself in front of the members and the Elders, I remembered the talk
given by Elder Uchdorf on gratitude in our trials, regardless of circumstance. I
said a prayer in my heart of gratitude for Heavenly Father giving me a chance to
teach and testify when I was at my ropes end. I thanked him for being able to
feel the love of the Savior for Michael, and overwhelming peace entered my soul.
I still felt awful that Michael didn't want to learn and that I couldn't do
anything to change it, but I felt like Heavenly Father still loved me. I have
learned that gratitude for the trials we face is submitting our will to his. I
am grateful I am a missionary, and face the trials I do. I am sooooo grateful we
have prophets on the Earth.
Brother
Masteller and I had a wonderful conversation before I had my melt down. I was
very emotional, and told me a lot about his feelings. I am grateful that he
trusts me, and that God gave me this area. I feel inadequacy every day of my
life, and even more weak as I try and help these people, but I know that I will
learned how to rely on God more than man if I keep trying. "
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